The Ugly Truth About First Date Night for Parents
For every parent in this world there will always be the first date night. After years of being parent, trying to hold our kids 24/7 every minute every second, it’s time to be brave and relaxed for awhile. And I know first date night has never come easy.
On my first date night out I couldn’t stop thinking about the kids, I was reconsidering whether we had made the right decision and then I was so worried I kept thinking the what if. I thought I should have written some will, you in case something happened with us while we were gone. And there were so many weird and mixed feelings along the way.
However thinking about it now I am glad my husband and I did that. After years of being caught up in this parenthood routine we definitely needed some fresh air and it wasn’t because we didn’t love our kids that we went out without them. Rather we did it for them. To refresh our relationship, to build better commitment and renew intimacy.
So if you are new parent who are thinking of taking a first date night there are some ugly truths you must aware of:
- Your kids would probably go crazy, beg you to allow him to join you, whining, crying and screaming but you must not look back. You may have called someone to look after them while you are gone, most definitely someone you trust, could be a family member so rest assure she/he will be taking a good care of your kids until you come back.
- Your hesitation will only grow your kids meltdown. So make the goodbye short and simple.
- Don’t cry and think about them all the night because then you will loose the point you go in the first place. Besides you will be disappointed if you keep worrying about them the whole night and come home only to find that they are laughing and playing, or even sleeping peacefully like nothing in this world bother them.
Yes the ugly truth is that no matter how hard your kids try to keep you from going they will be able to handle it. So rather than wasting your energy and chance of having a great night by thinking they will keep crying until you get home, cheer up. You’ll come home only to find they almost forget you are gone.
Just a curiosity (but I think this is a good info too) how old was your kid when you decide to go on your first date night?
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Even after the kids are grown and gone.... I think we still should have a Date Night!!
ReplyDeleteI think first I need to find a date to have a date night lol but the cat does give me lip when I leave.
ReplyDeleteI was a little bit ripped off on that because we always lived too far away from family. I had sitters for my kids less than 5 times total between birth and college. Crazy, huh?
ReplyDeleteWe do feel guilty, aren't we, although unreasonable. We need to relax sometimes to take better care of our little ones. But for me that's impossible :(
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Theresa :)
Hugs
It's so true....we tend to feel guilty for some reason when we finally go out on that first date night. But like you said, it better benefits the kids when you take time to nurture your relationship and marriage :)
ReplyDeleteDate night....oh man that's an interesting concept. Maybe one day. Probably in the near future since our little one is out of that "I hate everyone but mommy" phase now....
ReplyDeleteWe've been on date nights twice without the little one, both times leaving him w/his much older brother. The brother's gone off to live his own life now, and his sister's not old enough to be home alone, so we don't go on date nights.
ReplyDeleteSad, but true. We don't mind, but the couple of times we did have out were really nice. :)
Now that my sister lives with us, we actually go out without Elliott every 2-3 months. Before she lived with us, we pretty much only went out without him when she was visiting, or we were visiting her and my parents. We've never left him with someone other than family for a date night.
ReplyDeleteWhen we didn't have someone available to watch him we still did date nights at home when he was in bed, though.
It will be some time before I can experience the feeling
ReplyDeleteMaybe after a few months? Our dates don't last the whole night so just sneaking a few hours away ain't that bad ;p it is important just to get some couple time to refresh the love energy :)
ReplyDeleteAi @ Sakura Haruka
I can't remember going on a real date.My dates are usually cut short, just happy hour, and with kids. So...hum. Ok. Actually, I remember one now...see how great it was that I can't even remember? smiles. All guilty of the ugly truths too. smiles.
ReplyDeleteHi Rina!!
ReplyDeleteChris & I go out all the time. Date nights are the only way to really keep that spark going in your marriage (I think so at least), so we do leave the kids and they ARE fine. They may cry as we walk out the door, but I know 2 seconds later, they are fine.
Yaiy, so happy to see my post here. Thank you sooo so much Theresa!! :)
ReplyDelete@Robin: you are one of the most happening couple I know (virtually - lol) just by reading your posts about your trips and dates. You set the bar pretty high, can't keep up yet but catching up :) Yes, you are right they are totally fine.
@All: the guilty feelings, that is it!
I'm stopping by via Sincerely Paula's weekend hop :) Have a Great Weekend!
ReplyDelete~ Jill
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Yes, it's good for children to rest occasionally.
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This just goes to show how removed I am from this stage of life. When I started reading your article, I was thinking about the kid bringing home their date for the first time.
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