Have you ever had one of those moments where you just have to shake your head at the stupidity of others? I was recently attacked, by a family member no less, about my choice to be a stay at home mom. I was told flat out that I was doing nothing with my life and what was I accomplishing by being a “Molly Homemaker?” This person just started college after being one of these so called “Molly Homemakers” for the past 15 years herself, so I’m assuming she felt the need to tear into me because of her unhappiness with her own life choices. When I brought this subject up with my best friend, who is also a homemaker, she said that she gets these types of comments thrown at her all the time too. While I can agree with her that the opinions of these people do not matter, it does get annoying hearing it time and again.
I made the choice to stay home with my oldest daughter when she was 3. I was working 2 jobs and babysitting on the side and eventually got tired of hearing about her accomplishments by our babysitter. On top of that, I felt I was away from her so much, we just weren’t bonding the way I thought a mother and child should. Going over what I was bringing home from my paychecks, minus the daycare, gas, and wardrobe expenses of maintaining a job, I really wasn’t bringing in much more than what we would save if I had no job at all. With great joy I quit my jobs and started my new life as a stay at home mom. I have never regretted this decision once.
This isn’t a post about stay at home moms vs. working moms. I’ve done both and I think working moms have it much harder than the sahm. Not only do they have to work, they have to come home and do all the stuff sahm’s do during the day. There are some days I do envy working moms though. I miss adult interaction. My husband jokes that I know the cashier’s a little too well at all of our area grocery stores because I tend to talk too much when I do happen to get around another adult. I miss going out to lunch. I miss being in the car by myself and listening to what I want on the radio. I also miss the quiet I would get on my 15 minute breaks.
I do not think that women choose to stay home and raise a family because they lack ambition or are not intelligent enough to secure a spot in today’s work force. I know many college educated women who have put their careers on hold to raise a family. While I realize not every mother has the option to choose to stay home vs. work, if both husband and wife can agree it is in the best interest of their family, who am I to judge?
To answer the question on what am I accomplishing with my life as a stay at home mom, I am building a strong bond with my children. I have been to every class party, go on field trips (and yes, some of them suck and I wonder what the heck I was thinking coming along), I volunteer on field day (which sometimes sucks too. Last year it was over 100 degrees out- not fun), I am home when my kids arrive and are ready to talk or vent about their day. I am having fun and creating memories with them every day. But most importantly, I am raising two loving, intelligent, compassionate kids and am preparing them to become productive members of society. If they both choose to be stay at home moms I will be just as proud as I would with any career path they choose. This is their decision, one that nobody has a right to attack, and if I had to choose again, I would make the same choices over again.